Photo Set

I will get back into the swing of things by completely fangirling all over the place. First off, like many women, I have a fetish for bad boys-if you didn’t get that already. I mean, it explains my weird obsession with Darth Vader, past relationships, etc; So here is my list of top 10 Sexiest Bad Boys in TV/Film. Not that many of you male nerds out there give two fucks, but who knows, maybe it will give you a little bit of insight into the crazy female psyche.

Barney Stinson-NPH-HIMYM The thing about Barney is that he pulls of things no man would ever be able to do in real life. Also, it’s Neal Fucking Patrick Harris. Do I really need to elaborate here? As much of an ass as Barney can be, we all love him more for it.

Sawyer- LOST- I believe I’ve already talked about how much I love him but eh, here it goes again. Super handsome, smart, and quite possibly one of the most witty men I’ve watched on television. Anyway talking about him makes me re-pissed about how LOST ended so time to move on..

Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy- I will never forgive this character for killing Eric Bana as Hector and I’m pretty sure I’ll never stop crying at that scene ever, either. It is debatable whether or not he is truly bad, or any of these guys are for that matter, but he definitely lets his anger cloud his judgement- something we all know leads to a dark path. Also, Brad Pitt in Greek Armor. Excuse me while I go wipe the drool off my face.

Gerard Butler as the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera- I’ve always said that I’d kill for a man with killer vocal chords. I’d even forgive the creepy, stalking thing but hey, that’s love right? It’s Gerard Butler and he’s singing glorious music. That’s all I really need to know. Just got to make sure he keeps that mask on and we’re good…..I’m not a bad person I swear!

Arnold Vosloo as Imhotep in The Mummy- Well, this is probably by far the most embarrassing one on this list. I have maybe admitted this to one or two people, but my secret is out. I’ve always had a crush on Imhotep from the Mummy. You know, the evil, soul sucking Mummy? Of course, he’s only attractive when he is fully reincarnated but hey, any man willing to kill people to resurrect the love of his life scores some points in my sick, twisted book. I know, I really do need help.

Chris Eccleston as “The Elf Lord” in Thor Sequel- Technically the Thor sequel hasn’t come out yet so I really don’t know how awesome Eccleston will be as this character. I do know that I loved him as the 9th doctor and he definitely seems a bit more stern than the other doctors whom I couldn’t really take all that seriously. He has the edge required so I think he’ll be perfect for the role and he’s a total babe. I’m really looking forward to this Thor sequel!

Anakin Skywalker- Alrighty, before you all get all weird about this one, I have a few comments. First, I wish they’d remove Hayden Christensen’s vocal chords rather than melt his face off and remove his limbs. Harsh but true. All I am saying is that his looks outweigh any actual skills he has as an actor. And it’s more of the character role than the actual actor that does it for me. Maybe my end comments may clear this one up because I’m having a hard time really explaining it.

Spike-James Marsters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Spike has made me laugh, cry and has made my panties wet…possibly at the same time. But seriously, I have fallen in love with this character in a bad way. It’s a little ridiculous. I think he is the perfect bad boy ever to grace the television set. Funny thing is I wasn’t a big fan at first but Joss Whedon worked his magic and made me love him. Luckily, I’m not finished with season 7 of Buffy so I haven’t gotten withdrawals…yet. That will be a sad day indeed.

I’m going to try to avoid sounding all English major-y while writing my final thoughts but here it goes. With all sexual innuendos aside, it’s more than just good looks that makes me appreciate these guys more than anything. It’s the fact that they are passionate, envious, they feel hate, greed, and ambition to a point where it usually goes too far but that is what makes them human and what makes them relatable. They are what make stories memorable. How boring would stories be without a bad guy? Perfect people following their perfect little rules are boring if you ask me. These guys, they struggle to stay good. Without experiencing an excess of emotion, we’d just be biological bipeds and nothing would seperate one human from the other. Our ability to change is what makes us beautiful and is something that all these guys have in common. Despite their lust for power, vengeance, or money, there is good at the heart of all of them. Seeing them realize that is incredibly satisfying. Plus, you know what they say about the excessively passionate guys….awesome makeup sex. Just saying. A little bad makes everything better!
Hey nerds. Apologies for not writing lately. Hopefully this will make up for my failings as a columnist. I realized I haven’t done anything archaeology related so for all you Indiana Jones lovers, I bet you’ll dig this. Yeah, I just said that, I couldn’t help myself :)

I’ve been spending a large amount of my time watching Buffy- other than being a human playground aka a Nanny. My love for extremely creepy things, archaeology, and history has led me to sharing this with you all. I can’t tell you how giddy this made me. Not only is it ancient burial but they believe these to be “Vampire” burials- (helllloooo new future thesis topic!). Well the people reopening their tombs thought so, anyway. Why? As one studying archaeology, let’s face it: just because a skeleton has stakes shoved up its mouth or chest really isn’t solid evidence that the people who buried this person actually thought it was a vampire. Unless there is literary evidence, of course, which is discussed in the article in little detail.  Oh, have I mentioned the woman “vampire” is the one with a giant brick shoved in her mouth? Look at that picture and try to not giggle like an 8 year old. God, this news is so good on so many levels!

So long story short, It turns out that the whole brick shoved up the mouth thing is a form of exorcism used frequently during the plague. The body went through many decompositional changes which were witnessed by those having to reopen burial chambers when massive amounts of people were dying with the plague. They saw these changes and were like, “Shit, this must be a vampire!” or something like that. You can read about it more in the article. It’s an incredibly interesting read, if you ask me.

Reports of vampires in graves actually describe a corpse during decomposition. The rigor mortis would have disappeared. A phenomenon called epidermolysis would be visible, in which the epidermis loosens from the underlying dermis and the nails fall off, exposing the nail beds and giving the impression of new growth. At the same time, the corpse would be going through the putrefaction stage in which the abdomen gets bloated from the build-up of gases. The decay of the gastrointestinal tract contents and lining create a dark fluid called “purge fluid” that might flow freely from the nose and mouth and could easily be confused with the blood sucked by the vampire. And if a corpse was wrapped in a shroud, putrid gases and purge fluid flowing from the mouth would moisten the cloth so that it would sink into the mouth (which would open as the muscles relaxed after rigor mortis), where the fluids would break it down. So the legend that corpse could eat through its shroud is a real observation that was interpreted without the proper medical knowledge. “

~Samir S. Patel, Archaeology Magazine